Trust

Momma always said dont look for things you dont want to find

Sadly those were the very things lurking in my mind

I ran to the phone and pressed redial

I heard a voicemail and smiled an evil smile

I now know what she sounded like

She didnt sound sexier than me

I wanted to know however what she looked like

and was her figure a size three

See Im a thick woman with curves in all the right places

but you seem to be whoring with women of all different races

Black, Hispanic, Asian and White

All them chicks got that pussy that you like

Im taking a backseat because I dont want to ruffle any feathers

yet Im the only one struggling to keep our shit together

Im the one that had your back and helped you focus on your dream

But what we had is unraveling like strings on a seam

I found her number in your pants pocket

and knew eventually she'd call your phone

Surely you didnt think I'd forever leave your cheating alone

What is it that makes you not love me

Is it my cooking or my weight

Or maybe you are simply tired of staring at my face

Did I not fuck you well

I even swallow when I should

yet you still messing with these hoodrats from your old neighborhood

I found some new company of my own

Someone that likes me just the way I am

Keep the drama I'm done with it

Cheers to you and your new fam!

Last Nite I Cried........

 

 

Last night, I cried for you.

I cried for me, too.

Seems like I had some De Ja Vu.

Through the tears, I lost my view.

Last night, I cried for me.

I cried for you, too.

Wondered if you truly loved thee;

if there could really be a we.

Last night, I simply cried.

My heart felt like I could have died.

Wanted to be in your arms, so open wide,

in your nook deep inside.

Last night I cried, and then I smiled, and thought

about the feelings I've often fought.

I guess I can say I might be in love.

Who'd a thunk it?!

The Epiphany

The Epiphany

After careful thought, I decided, finally to let go;

let go of the mirage I had developing in my soul.

My body and spirit no longer belong to you.

But I was too blind to know.

Your callous ways turned me off.

Your silence made me cry.

Should I just walk out the door quietly

or make love to you and then say goodbye?

You're no longer what I want in life.

You're no longer what I need

in order for me to love myself.

I must depart from you and proceed.

Too many sleepless nights wanting you and nothing has progressed.

Too many tearful days needing you. What are we to do next?

I've held in so many thoughts and feelings, it

makes my heart and hands ache to reminisce.

All the time we've had to learn

and did nothing with it since.

Since we last made love I've been craving you.

Do you not feel the same for me?

I doubt it, for you would have been in my arms

and I'd not have this EPIPHANY.



The Reason

The Reason

He gave me the reason to smile,

long after the desire was gone.

I laughed quietly inside, knowing he was the one.

He gave me the reason to love when my heart had no more to give.

I chuckled while we held hands tight, my fingers wrapped in his.

He gave me the reason to dream; knowing sleep is a serious struggle.

Finding comfort in his arms will no longer lead to troubles.

He gave me the reason to sing, something I've not done in years,

makes me sing a tune that brings the neighbors to cheer.

He gave me the reason to "be", to live my life accordingly;

making all decisions to make no one happy but ME.

He gave me the reason to LOVE, to love ME, myself and I.

In loving myself, we can both give love to each other unconditionally!

He gave me the reason......... no more needs to be said, just know that the reason is HIM .



Tonight I Pray

Tonight I pray silently that things will be restored to how they used to be;

that events that have transpired could just disappear,

that my fight or flight mechanism will no longer allow me to flee,

that I could just whisper my feelings in your ear.

Tonight I pray silently that slumber will come and take the pain away;

that my dreams will reflect the peace I seek from within,

that the sunshine will indeed represent the dawning of a new day,

that with just one word, I'll be forgiven of my sin.

Tonight I pray that I smile from the inside out,

that the tears I've shed will fade instantly upon hearing your voice,

that the redness of my eyes will once again be clear,

that the decisions I've made will be the right choice.

Tonight I pray that I find peace where there is chaos,

that I finally win and stop enduring and accepting loss,

that I release the shackles and finally run free,

that I decide for once, to be just ME.

 

How To Please A Man???!!!



I woke up and checked my to-do list

I looked at the clock located on my left wrist

Time was ticking more than I knew

what I did know what you were on my list to do

I placed your lipstick stained shirt in the washing machine

I had to make sure that your clothes were clean

I checked your pockets for paper money and dimes

I found a number that wasnt quite mine

Worried was I? Not in the least

I know that you, my man is a savage beast

Not able to be tamed or held down by one

I know you'll prefer many pussies than survive with just one

I then ventured to the kitchen to begin your dinner

I'm not your only Goddess but I am the only winner

My man, You are the Only one for me

It doesnt bother me too much that you've got room enough to flee

No time to sit still for you'll almost arrive

After cleaning the whole house I feel barely alive

I must however tend to your needs and leave mine for last

I only worry about present and future abandoning the past

I greet you with your shirt ironed and your dinner on a platter

How you fuck me tonite wont really matter

I just want you within me makin love to my soul

Even though you give me pieces I'll pretend your being is whole

I was taught how to love a man forgoing my own needs

I'll abandon my desire for happiness to bear your multiple seeds

I received a call from the doctor today and he said he needed to see me

I already know what the issue is...... I have contracted an illness due to your selfishness

You gave me HER, HER & HIS HIV

Love Games

I loved you before I even saw your face

and the feelings intensified when I was in your embrace

See, the day you drove right to my door step

I was inside tryna figure out just what to wear and look cute for you

I musta changed my clothes one time or was it two

Didnt matter, I think I threw my hair in a ponytail and

kept it moving but I knew I shimmied my hot ass

so that you could analyze my curves

check out my hips

observe the fullness of my breasts

it was summer time and I wanted you to see all of me

without seeing ALL OF ME

even though my heart had been displayed on my sleeve

without even wearing one.

See I fell in love with your voice

your intellect

your body wasnt even apart of the equation

yet I already felt like one plus one equalled us two.

Now youre gone and its just me, myself and I

attempting to not feel the same for you

once more knowing that

all I wanna do is kiss you

love you

embrace you

taste you

be apart of your aura, your breathe, your spirit and soul

No longer being absent and partial, being with you will make us whole

1 plus 1 equals 2 but

I am nothing without YOU