Mr Re-Appear/ Disappear

Mr Re-Appear/ Disappear
I am here and you are there
Yet you swear that you do care
How can I know if you don't share
Your feelings seem bare
Mr Re-Appear/ Disappear
Between the sheets you reappear
Arrive and leave me laying here
Vanishing into very thin air
Amazing that my hearts still here
Mr Re-Appear/ Disappear
Gone again after leaving here
Its so clear now you truly don't care
Time after time you Re-Appear
But Often times you Disappear!
Bye Mr Re-Appear/ Disappear!

Midnight Snack

I was so bored and lonely when Travis left the house. I so wish we never had that argument. I pick up the phone on the 2nd ring as I leave the kitchen. "Oh, hey Courtney!" I reply as dryly as possible. She aint who I wanted to talk to.... all I needed was my pralines and cream ice cream and my boo. He's been mad at me since he "claimed" he saw me with another dude. I been trying to tell him that was my boss. It was my fault anyhow. I crawl into the bed to watch tonite's Surreal Life. I think to myself... shyt..if Flav and Brigitte can be in love then I must be doing something wrong. I push the remote to my music station and nothing is on..... *ding dong* TRAV is now online. He's on yahoo. He's there for 20 minutes and doesnt say a thing to me. Oh well....... cant miss what I really didnt have no way. I proceed to lay down in the bed and watch tv. Thoughts of him fill my mind. I began to feel the heat rising to my breasts and my breath becomes heavy. I feel moisture on my face, lips, neck.... I jump up and its Travis......
"I missed you baby" he said
"why didnt you say something when you saw me online" I replied. I was hurt!
"because I wanted to make sure you were home when I gave you this...... " and with that he pulls out a 1 carat marquise engagement ring. "Will you be my wife?"
I am shocked but come to my senses and say "NO, you dont trust me and I cant be with someone for the rest of my life if you cant trust me."
"Will you marry me?" he said as he kisses my neck, breasts, stomach and eventually my mound below.
"Travis...... you dont think I want to be with someone that thinks Im sleeping with my boss do you?"
"No, he actually called my house looking for you and explained that he thought it was too late for you to be driving let alone traveling and it was HIS fault that you has to stay late. His wife also apologized and now its my turn"
With that he lifted up my leg and placed his hands over mine. I couldnt move. He placed the engagement ring on my nipple.. and with every lick asked me.... "will you marry me?" slurp "will you marry me" lick "will you be my wife" suck
I came so hard that all I could say was YES, YES, YES...... I fell asleep and woke up with the ring on my finger and his arm around me after our lovemaking session. What a way to be proposed to......
Later for my bucket of ice cream.... it melted right on my nightstand.


Allison Edwards ©2005

Alone With You!

Alone With You

The night has fallen

The dew has set

The fallen rain has met

rosepetals on its descent.

Fresh air tickles my nose

as I anticipate being

Alone with you.

I need no umbrella.

You are my shade,

my comfort.  I put

my trust in you.

As I guide my footsteps

along the way

Night by Night.  Day by Day

I anticipate being alone with you.

The taste of your lips

the warmth of your body

the smell of your back

gives the reason to

be alone with you.

I sleep with you

I laugh with you.

I cry with you.

I’m alone with you.

The Park

The Park by Allison Edwards Ò1998

            It was an evening after work.  I needed to see you even if it was for five minutes knowing good and well that that wasn’t enough time for us to even share a kiss.  We meet up and go off to our secret spot, a place carefully chosen and chanced upon.  It has become our regular meeting place and the location of all of our rendezvous’.  We find a seat and begin to reacquaint ourselves with a hug and a kiss, which turns you and I on even more.  We begin with a kiss and it turns into much more.  You begin to tug on my thongs knowing that you want whatever is beneath them. 

              It is not the first time we’ve been here but it is the first time that we have so much time together.  You are amazed at how aroused I have become.  My breathing has increased… and your lovetool as grown to express the delight in feeling my warm body against yours.  You begin to kiss me softly and it progresses as you paw me not knowing what to do with me.  The light of the moon reflects on your face as I kiss your eyes knowing that we are about to engage in something very forbidden.  You push me up against a tree and lift my skirt, which hides my innermost gem.  I get a rush off of feeling you against me.  You proceed to kiss me passionately like never before and pick me up to the park bench. 

                 The crisp fall leaves crackle under your footsteps.  You lay down your coat and ask me to lie down.  Feeling skeptical I question your motives and you answer my question with a kiss to my gem.  I shiver at the feel of your tongue especially in such a public place.  You assure me that there is no one around.  You continue to take that trek meanwhile I begin to get very aroused.  You gently pick me up and place me in front of you.  I slowly pull your zipper down revealing a hint of Tommy Hilfiger briefs.  They’ve obviously grown with sexual arousal.  You pull out your rod and protect it as we are about to engage in some serious and dangerous business. 

                 Without missing a beat, you pull me to sit down on top of you and I feel your heat.  You feel my warmth and moan at how wet I am.  We move in motion simultaneously and the harder you thrust, the wetter I get.  We remember to keep quiet being that we are outside.  You and I are getting close to climax and we hold on tight to each other for fear of losing control… that has already happened, it seems.  We reach orgasm within minutes of each other and laugh knowing that someone could have been watching.  We walk away well spent and weary yet satisfied anticipating our next venture into forbidden territory.

Broken Hearted

Bloody ink left on the paper

covered with tears from my eyes

Heart broken into a million pieces

All repercussions of your lies

I tried to love you as best I could

I wanted to be your very best

I never thought Id get the short end of the stick

But you preferred to leave me for the rest

I struggled at night to be heard and held

In your arms is where I lay

You shifted your focus to another not me

It started longer than today

I'm tired! I want to be loved

Give me what I need

Choose me! Take Me!

Sadly, you wont ever take heed!

Increase Your Standards

As I stepped into the salon I felt uneasy. I had heard rave reviews about this place but it didn’t seem like it had the spunk that I needed. The floor had left over hair on it from the night before. The garbage bins were filled to the brim and the stylists complained that they didn’t feel like doing hair on such and such day because they had “other appointments”

Wasn’t this your job? You signed up for this business and now you are refusing business? If you haven’t guessed already this is a black owned hair salon.

Finally I take a seat and wait for my turn. My hair just needed a wash and set but I also wanted  deep conditioning and trim. I couldn’t take the risk of doing it myself. My appointment was at 10:30am and  it is not 10:45. I peruse  magazines and try to make conversation with the gum-snapping women that “work” there. The ones that are sitting in their own chairs not asking me if I need assistance or what I need done to my hair. Finally at 12:20 my stylist comes in and does what she needs to with my hair. She doesn’t apologize for her tardiness and for what usually costs 40 has cost me 65 dollars and all of my day. The purpose of me going there early was so I can leave early. I left at 5:00 pm and now I am driving ten miles above the speed limit so I can get my kids from aftercare at 5:30pm because my stylist decided to take her sweet time and none of her dingbat co workers cared enough to lighten her load and represent her company properly.

You do all understand I am making a point here. There were many issues involved in this scenario and the main one was PROFESSIONALISM. When you represent a business you must adhere to the rules of the customer. You are on their payroll and their clock. Do not show up to work late and be disrespectful of others time. Do not half ass your client and do not have them waiting on you. Do not have your co workers bitch and moan about not having work but they are turning it down when it comes your way. THIS is why people do not support black businesses because at times we do not represent ourselves accordingly. My instructor a few years ago said to me after I got to his class five minutes late. He said You are late. I said, no sir I am on time. He said, that’s the problem Allie. In life, everyone thinks they have enough time. Be fifteen minutes early for everything and you are on time. Be on time and you are late. Be fifteen minutes late and you have just missed an opportunity! Don’t let life slip away from you ladies and gentlemen! INCREASE YOUR STANDARDS!!!

Anatomy of The Jump Off!

“Cuffin”, “Bunned Up”, “Fuck Buddy”, “Entanglements”, “Situations”, “JumpOffs”, “Sideline Hoe”

Those are the terms used in the new millennium that describes the current state of relationships.  I mean its really self explanatory and the men and women that condone this state that’s it’s a way of life. Its Not!

Men aren’t supposed to be committed to one woman. Women should know their place blah blah blah.

Well quite honestly, what  is the point of marriage then?

The Bible states that GOD took a rib from Adam to create Eve because man and woman aren’t supposed to be alone. Later on in the scriptures it shows that Abraham and many others took more than one wife. Okay I get that…. But know that ALL THE WIVES KNEW EACH OTHER. If you are engaging in a relationship that is secretive, the other party has no knowledge of whats going on outside of the relationship then its CHEATING!!!  Now I am in no way an expert in theology however  know enough to know that things that occurred in the Old Testament and The New Testament are VERY different. I also know enough to know that people chop, screw and finagle scriptures of the Bible to use when it suits them as opposed to using it as fact and leading the lives they should according to His Word. That’s a totally different story in itself.

Being in a relationship requires work! It requires communication, trust, commitment and attraction of some kind and that’s just the basics in my opinion. Treat your relationships like how you do friendships. People must be worthy to be in your circle , to share your air, your mind, and your body fluids!

Women complain that there are no good men around yet they are giving up the goods way to easily under the premise of “Its not that serious”, “Im just having a good time”, “I can make him love me”

Sorry boo… it not going to happen. No man will take you seriously if he’s had a piece of the pie without commitment. YOU are just something to do and sadly if it good enough he will pass you off to his friends.

Men, please quit it! We are on to your games just like you are on to ours. Far be it from me to judge! But know that the while the double standards do exist you are still whores to us. I do NOT want to be walking down the street with you as my husband and see two or three chicks you’ve had relations with. Oh, and don’t ask about how many people we’ve slept with. It will forever ruin your image of us yet you want us to keep giving it to you in the bedroom. Let’s leave the answer at “PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT”

In closing, I hope it all makes a little bit of sense. Men and women think differently yet we want the same thing. It all boils down to LOVE. Women give sex for love and men give love for sex. That’s not a rumor…… that’s fact!

Trust

Momma always said dont look for things you dont want to find

Sadly those were the very things lurking in my mind

I ran to the phone and pressed redial

I heard a voicemail and smiled an evil smile

I now know what she sounded like

She didnt sound sexier than me

I wanted to know however what she looked like

and was her figure a size three

See Im a thick woman with curves in all the right places

but you seem to be whoring with women of all different races

Black, Hispanic, Asian and White

All them chicks got that pussy that you like

Im taking a backseat because I dont want to ruffle any feathers

yet Im the only one struggling to keep our shit together

Im the one that had your back and helped you focus on your dream

But what we had is unraveling like strings on a seam

I found her number in your pants pocket

and knew eventually she'd call your phone

Surely you didnt think I'd forever leave your cheating alone

What is it that makes you not love me

Is it my cooking or my weight

Or maybe you are simply tired of staring at my face

Did I not fuck you well

I even swallow when I should

yet you still messing with these hoodrats from your old neighborhood

I found some new company of my own

Someone that likes me just the way I am

Keep the drama I'm done with it

Cheers to you and your new fam!

Last Nite I Cried........

 

 

Last night, I cried for you.

I cried for me, too.

Seems like I had some De Ja Vu.

Through the tears, I lost my view.

Last night, I cried for me.

I cried for you, too.

Wondered if you truly loved thee;

if there could really be a we.

Last night, I simply cried.

My heart felt like I could have died.

Wanted to be in your arms, so open wide,

in your nook deep inside.

Last night I cried, and then I smiled, and thought

about the feelings I've often fought.

I guess I can say I might be in love.

Who'd a thunk it?!

The Epiphany

The Epiphany

After careful thought, I decided, finally to let go;

let go of the mirage I had developing in my soul.

My body and spirit no longer belong to you.

But I was too blind to know.

Your callous ways turned me off.

Your silence made me cry.

Should I just walk out the door quietly

or make love to you and then say goodbye?

You're no longer what I want in life.

You're no longer what I need

in order for me to love myself.

I must depart from you and proceed.

Too many sleepless nights wanting you and nothing has progressed.

Too many tearful days needing you. What are we to do next?

I've held in so many thoughts and feelings, it

makes my heart and hands ache to reminisce.

All the time we've had to learn

and did nothing with it since.

Since we last made love I've been craving you.

Do you not feel the same for me?

I doubt it, for you would have been in my arms

and I'd not have this EPIPHANY.



The Reason

The Reason

He gave me the reason to smile,

long after the desire was gone.

I laughed quietly inside, knowing he was the one.

He gave me the reason to love when my heart had no more to give.

I chuckled while we held hands tight, my fingers wrapped in his.

He gave me the reason to dream; knowing sleep is a serious struggle.

Finding comfort in his arms will no longer lead to troubles.

He gave me the reason to sing, something I've not done in years,

makes me sing a tune that brings the neighbors to cheer.

He gave me the reason to "be", to live my life accordingly;

making all decisions to make no one happy but ME.

He gave me the reason to LOVE, to love ME, myself and I.

In loving myself, we can both give love to each other unconditionally!

He gave me the reason......... no more needs to be said, just know that the reason is HIM .



Tonight I Pray

Tonight I pray silently that things will be restored to how they used to be;

that events that have transpired could just disappear,

that my fight or flight mechanism will no longer allow me to flee,

that I could just whisper my feelings in your ear.

Tonight I pray silently that slumber will come and take the pain away;

that my dreams will reflect the peace I seek from within,

that the sunshine will indeed represent the dawning of a new day,

that with just one word, I'll be forgiven of my sin.

Tonight I pray that I smile from the inside out,

that the tears I've shed will fade instantly upon hearing your voice,

that the redness of my eyes will once again be clear,

that the decisions I've made will be the right choice.

Tonight I pray that I find peace where there is chaos,

that I finally win and stop enduring and accepting loss,

that I release the shackles and finally run free,

that I decide for once, to be just ME.

 

How To Please A Man???!!!



I woke up and checked my to-do list

I looked at the clock located on my left wrist

Time was ticking more than I knew

what I did know what you were on my list to do

I placed your lipstick stained shirt in the washing machine

I had to make sure that your clothes were clean

I checked your pockets for paper money and dimes

I found a number that wasnt quite mine

Worried was I? Not in the least

I know that you, my man is a savage beast

Not able to be tamed or held down by one

I know you'll prefer many pussies than survive with just one

I then ventured to the kitchen to begin your dinner

I'm not your only Goddess but I am the only winner

My man, You are the Only one for me

It doesnt bother me too much that you've got room enough to flee

No time to sit still for you'll almost arrive

After cleaning the whole house I feel barely alive

I must however tend to your needs and leave mine for last

I only worry about present and future abandoning the past

I greet you with your shirt ironed and your dinner on a platter

How you fuck me tonite wont really matter

I just want you within me makin love to my soul

Even though you give me pieces I'll pretend your being is whole

I was taught how to love a man forgoing my own needs

I'll abandon my desire for happiness to bear your multiple seeds

I received a call from the doctor today and he said he needed to see me

I already know what the issue is...... I have contracted an illness due to your selfishness

You gave me HER, HER & HIS HIV

Love Games

I loved you before I even saw your face

and the feelings intensified when I was in your embrace

See, the day you drove right to my door step

I was inside tryna figure out just what to wear and look cute for you

I musta changed my clothes one time or was it two

Didnt matter, I think I threw my hair in a ponytail and

kept it moving but I knew I shimmied my hot ass

so that you could analyze my curves

check out my hips

observe the fullness of my breasts

it was summer time and I wanted you to see all of me

without seeing ALL OF ME

even though my heart had been displayed on my sleeve

without even wearing one.

See I fell in love with your voice

your intellect

your body wasnt even apart of the equation

yet I already felt like one plus one equalled us two.

Now youre gone and its just me, myself and I

attempting to not feel the same for you

once more knowing that

all I wanna do is kiss you

love you

embrace you

taste you

be apart of your aura, your breathe, your spirit and soul

No longer being absent and partial, being with you will make us whole

1 plus 1 equals 2 but

I am nothing without YOU

Hand Written

Hand Written

                       Collaboration By: Allison “Essence M” Edwards  & Chris Styles

Allison

I remember the first night I realized you weren't next to me.

I had to get up and look for you.

I found you under my sheets,

placed you gingerly in my hand

and utilized you with what passion I had within me.

I loved and still do love how you feel in my hands.

Your gentle yet so rough edges brush my fingertips

and I get aroused knowing that something exciting

will form from our interaction.

I place my hand on top and feel how smooth you are.

I feel the intimate places where I've inked my signature upon your canvas.

Never once did I think I'd leave my mark on you

but I did and I have proving to all that you are mine and I am yours.

Pieces of me intertwine within your open spirit

leaving me breathless and in tears.

You accept me totally

flaws and all as I notice the sharp lines I've left.

There are no mistakes,

only new beginnings and with each passing day I fall deeper in love with you.

You are truly my muse and I breathe because of you.

Chris

I remember our first embrace

My fingers traced your back like,

A blind man trying to find his way

drawing mental pictures, imagining your features

from the curvatures of your face

See, I was..

..displaced in empty mental

Yet, we were still able to communicate

It was the flexibility of the conversations

That enabled me to truly be free

I could,

Spit that curb dialect without it being viewed

As hood rhetoric exposing the roots within me

And

For that I love you..

You listened to me when

my devotion switched lanes

chasing dreams in lace and high heels

raising concern about, what it is I really feel

allowing me to hit guard rails and fish tail

ok.. ok - I was out of control for real..

but

these stories were kept between the margins

I smudged the ink a little boosting the authenticity

Since shit is now dispensed via Tweets and other forms of Social Media

I still fucks with you

It doesn’t matter how you’re viewed

Be it in pixel format or on leaves of paper

You still birth my thoughts in the likeness of beautiful you

…Poetry

MIdnight Kisses

A soothing voice that lulls me during a bout of insomnia
I doze off but awaken feeling your heated breath near my cheek
Awaiting the moment your lips touch mine I peek through my eyelids
Are you what I'm waiting for?
I roll over and pull the comforter over my naked shoulder

pretending that I'm nestling in your imaginary arms

I can't sleep and I watch the clock
3:16am
I can't help but wonder when the next time will be.
How odd is it that this is the stage of our lives that we are at.
Watching time and waiting for what may or may not come

I've dozed off
I wake up
I smell your scent
The soft aroma of Chrome sends chills down my spine
You walk in and stare at me knowing what you want to do.
Simply put your arms around mine
Your lips sweet as wine
Our eyes intertwined
No longer watching time
Why?
Because it stands still when I'm with you
G'nite

FULL CIRCLE

To live is to learn
to learn is to earn
to earn is to gain
to gain is to have
to have is to hold
to hold is to mold
to mold is to create
to create is to evolve
to evolve is to change
to change is to grow
to grow is to learn
to learn is to live.

Give Me You

I stare into your grey eyes and realize that my heart is no longer smoky
I can see everything clearer now that I have got you
Laying in your arms is like a symphony of music
so calming, so spiritual, so warm, so kind
Never once did I know you would blow my mind
Aint no such thing as sex wit u
I cant even imagine sharing u
things I want I get wit u
I wanna entwine wit u.....
Baby give me all......
Give me YOU

In Limbo

Mr oh so right is oh so wrong

stop playing with my heart and taggin me along

I've loved you from day one just hid my feelings from you

If you ever knew my heart, I dont know what I'd do.

You've been there for me thru the worst and sometimes thru the best

Our relationship is strange but I think you can pass the test

I laugh you cry, you smile I sob

Hell being with you is truly a fulltime job

I'd love to be in her shoes for you've given me so much

its been a long time since Ive had your gentle touch

You've loved me very close you've loved me very far

You've loved me on the bed and in the passenger side of the car

What can I make of you? Time will only tell.

All I know is I miss your smile, your laughter and your smell

I lose sleep over you and wish you were mine

but I wait to have you, not now but next lifetime.......

A.G.E © 2005

I.........Dont.........Know

I dont know what to make of you.

The sweet sound of your voice.

I dont know what to make of you,

but then again do I have a choice?

I dont know what to make of you

the connection that we share

I dont know what to make of you

whether you are here or there

I dont know what to make of you

but time will surely tell

I dont know what to make of you

but you've placed me under your spell

I dont know what to make of you

your lips, your eyes your smile

I dont know what to make of you

but it will take more than a while

I dont know what to make of you

but is this just a dream?

I dont know what to make of you

are you really what you seem?

I dont know what to make of you

I cant get you outta my mind

I dont know what to make of you

a love thats hard to find

I dont know what to make of you

my heart has skipped a beat

I dont know what to make of you

no one's accomplished that feat

I dont know what to make of you

except to make you mine

I dont know what to make of you

but I'll figure out in time........

A.G.E ©2004

He Loves Me

Listening to music does something to me. It brings me to a place of deep emotion which can or cannot be explained. The other night I was listening to Jill Scott and the song " He Loves Me" came on. Wow! What a way to be loved! He loves her so much that he inspires her each and every day. To Love and Be Loved like that is an amazing feat. Simply put he's her MUSE! My muse doesnt exist yet. My partner in prose, the one that I can share my heart, mind and soul with doesnt exist as I would very well like for him to. He's not ready. When he does surface, we'll be a force to be reckoned with!